Sucka!!!!

I've given up alot of things for you....delicious soft cheeses, this years Beaujolais Nouveau, yummy seafood (fried calamari, steamed mussels), anything within 20ft of the deli. And I'm ok with this....I do it out of love.

HOWEVER....you need to get with the program kid....our family eats spicy food! Your dad has learned to adapt. When we first met, EVERYTHING he ate was bland. And now look at him...he'll order something spicy without a second thought.

Your heartburn game was working for a while. I was beginning to question whether or not it was worth it to eat spicy. The pain was incredible, and nothing seemed to work.

But guess what? I've just discovered the secret! As soon as I ate something with a kick, I immediately throw a wet blanket down the shoot (ie 3 tums). Have fun trying to start a fire with your wet matches SUCKA!!!!!

BTW - if you think mom is bad, wait until you meet your Aunt Sarah and Aunt Chelly. Aunt Sarah orders shrimp pasta and a bottle of tabasco (in the same breath) when she goes out to eat. When your Aunt Chelly goes for Sushi, she steals the wasabi from everyones plate in ADDITION to ordering 10 extra blobs for herself.

You can thank me later for the early training. :)